Read a lot. Reading will help you learn how other people express themselves. Pay attention to word usage, diction, flow, voice and tone. These will give you ideas on expressing yourself.
Look up words that you’ve never seen before. Use them. They’ll provide you with many and myriad ways of expressing your emotions. Often, I’ve found that a single word does better expressing what I feel than an entire paragraph of sentences. Learning new words will help you express yourself better, and reading will help you to learn different ways to do so.
Write on Your Own
Do a variety of writing. Start a novel. Write letters. Keep a journal or diary. Often, you’ll find that writing helps you to think your thoughts through. In the heat of an argument, you’ll often say what you don’t mean in a tone that creates more resentment. Writing will help you organize your thoughts. It’ll give you focus and direction.
Don’t Fear People’s Judgment
Social anxiety is not a disease. You can’t catch it from someone who has it. It is a spiritual state of mind that is the direct result of fear. There is really only one type of fear and that is the fear of the unknown. Don’t fear what other people think about you. Honestly, your imagination will create far worse scenarios than what most people will ever think.
To overcome your fear, try asking for people’s help. Say something like, “I’m having a hard time expressing myself, and I thought maybe you could help me.” Saying that will invoke an instinctual need that most everyone has–the desire to help and feel needed. Hardly anyone will be critical of you when you’ve asked for their help.
It also sets the stage to retract what you may say when you say it wrongly. Since you’ve already warned them that you are struggling with expressing yourself, when you actually struggle with it, they’ll just shrug it off. It’s a great tool to overcoming your fear of other people’s judgment.
When You’re Upset, Write a Letter
If you’re furious at someone, then go ahead and write them a nasty letter. Just don’t give it to them. Sleep on it. The next morning, go back over the letter. You’ll find that your attitudes and perspective have shifted. I seriously doubt you’ll send the letter under those conditions.
But more than that, sending someone a letter that is well thought out is a great idea when you’re trying to express yourself. Look, letters can’t be argued with, they can’t be interrupted, and you can’t derail the train of thought. In fact, even if the letter is negative, most people will read it all the way through.
Sometimes a well worded letter will allow you to convey your feelings where a conversation would not.
Be Mature When You Express Yourself
I don’t take people seriously when they rant, rave, swear, cuss, insult, deride, mock, or get stubborn. These are immature attitudes that prevent and hinder the expression process.
Let’s stay away from the unproductive gossip, the insults, the profanity, and the finger-pointing. These accomplish nothing. Think about it; when is the last time you actually made a situation better by swearing at someone? Maturity in conversation is thoughtfulness, consideration, and the willingness to listen. Show respect to others and they will respect you.
You’ll be amazed at how easy it is to express yourself in the form of a question.
The short of it is this: questions allow you to interact with others. They involve you in their thoughts, feelings, worries, and cares. This provides an opportunity to express yourself better to them. Expression is best done when there is good interaction. Thoughtful questions provide this platform.
Source: Genesis University
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